


The Idiot Prayer

by anemic_cinema



Series: May Masturbation Challenge [30]
Category: Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Angst, Multi, Possibly Unrequited Love, desire for a poly relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-30
Updated: 2014-05-30
Packaged: 2018-01-27 14:46:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 421
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1714427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anemic_cinema/pseuds/anemic_cinema
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was the prayer Rick told himself but never had the strength to speak out loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Idiot Prayer

“Me. Him. Her.”

For a moment, Rick thinks that he can make it work. Lori says she still loves him. He figures out what happened pretty quick. He can read her and Shane pretty well after all these years. Lori's angry about him lying. Rick is too at first, but he tries to understand. 

No one could have controlled what happened. Sure as shit can't control anything now.

But he thinks he can make it work. He thinks of a way that everyone could be happy. That they could be a family. Shane included. Carl loves him. Lori obviously had felt something for him like love. So does Rick.

It could work. 

Except Rick doesn't say anything. After everything, bringing it up wouldn't be a good idea. So Rick wishes for things to be different. 

“Me. Him. Her.”

That's his wish. That's what he prays for the strength to make real. Love and reconciliation. It could work. He imagined it even before everything went bad, but never mentioned it. He just daydreamed about it and jerked off about it in the shower. Thought about it when he'd have sex with Lori. 

“Me. Him. Her.” 

The three of them equally entwined and in love. He knows for sure now that Shane feels it for Lori. He thinks that his friend feels it for him too. He knows that he feels it for the both of them. 

When he finds a moment to himself he pictures it. It could be so simple, even Carl would understand. Which child wouldn't want three parents that loved them? 

As far as sex, it could be simple too. The three of them sharing a tent. Touching each other without reserve. Making each other happy in ways that were complementary not competitive. And it would be so good. 

Thinking about it being like that gives him the best orgasms he's ever had. 

But then it doesn't work. At all. 

“Me. Her.”

No more him. And Rick's the one who did it, and he blames himself for driving Shane to that point where neither of them had a choice. Or maybe they did and couldn't figure a way out of it. It makes Rick wish he'd said something.

“Me.”

No more her. And that's Rick's fault too. 

“Me” is all that's left of his idiot prayer, and Rick figures it's exactly what he deserves. 

 

_“An idiot prayer of empty words_  
 _Love, dear, is strictly for the birds_  
 _We each get what we deserve”-Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds_


End file.
